Nightcap 4/16

Stranger Than Fiction.

I used to dream of writing the next great political espionage thriller novel. And hell, I still may. But for now, there's no time and quite frankly, real life is proving I'm just not creative enough. Because if I wrote that the President's fixer paid off a porn star, a playboy model (for someone else), and also represented the leading advocate for the President on cable television news, they would laugh me out of the room.

So Let's Get This Straight.

Consider the fired FBI Director did a five hour interview with a television news journalist that used to be the White House Communications Director for a former President that came from the opposing political party of the fired FBI Director. This same fired FBI Director claimed that the current President of his own political party is "morally unfit for the Presidency" while also claiming that this same President wanted a tape of the then real estate developer watching prostitutes getting peed on by each other in a Moscow hotel room investigated. All so that the current President's former supermodel wife, that he has previously admitted cheating on, would believe that the current President did not watch prostitutes get peed on and in turn did not have a secret child with the maid of the building sporting the current President's name.

Why did the current President's former supermodel wife not know about the secret love child with the maid? Because the President's fixer paid a tabloid to not publish a story put forward by a doorman of the the building that shares a name with the current President that the then real estate developer had an affair with the maid. This same fixer allegedly told the doorman to not share the story because the now-President had a secret child with the maid and if the doorman shared it he would be liable for a $1 million penalty.

While all of this is occurring, this same fixer is legally advising the host of a popular television program that regularly lies on behalf of the current President. This same President watches said host nightly and is believed to trust said host more than his own Chief of Staff.

This Chief of Staff may be fired because he is not entertaining enough and does not allow the President to watch enough television and regularly has to tell the President no. Why is said Chief of Staff not fired? Because he has a "suicide pact" with the the current Secretary of Defense, current Secretary of the Treasury, and the now former Secretary of State that was fired while browsing Twitter while sitting on the toilet. Fortunately, the President's daughter is filling in as Secretary of State in vital situations like at meetings involving nuclear powers that have been at war for 50+ years as well as at a multi-continental summit and for a missile strike responding to a chemical weapons attack in one of the most tenuous hot beds on earth. Thank goodness the daughter's husband is also working on peace in this same region that has been used as a military playground for the last 60 years.

This same President is enacting trade policy antithetical to his party's interests and is now engaged in a trade war with the country with the second largest GDP on earth. This is also within the interests of the the former communist super power that has a President that is effectively a dictator that may be attempting to blackmail the current President of the United States with the prostitute pee tape from the Moscow hotel that the President's fixer was attempting to bury.

There you go, much clearer now.

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